today, i learned that i will hate to say...

goodbye.

as i leave my childhood, or get prepared to leave it, i see two groups of friends.
those that i will take with me, and those i must part with.

really, there's only one i'm taking with me.

and when i think that this, today, this summer, this moment, will be the closest i will ever be with some incredible people, i say thank you and sorry. i guess there is no redemption for the wrongs i've done them. it ends here, or soon: ends next thursday, this summer, next january - all i know is that it ends too soon.

to some of the best people i've ever met. thank you all. for putting up with my crap. i spent the last 30 minutes losing my manhood, crying - but for you all, it was worth it.

scarlet comes first. we don't talk much but seriously, wtf. actually i think i might save this for a post by itself. that important.

anthem - ice skating, learning how to break on the ice, nazi signs in perry's backyard, playing with fire, scrimming late night fridays, sleep over at brandons, bike riding up that dumb hill, brandons before bible study, jam seshing outside of perry's house - fresh fresh fresh fresh - bible study, church, who was there when i first started talking to steph and we went to some girl's house and we got bashed on for being too rowdy? hells yeah, trying to ruin people's prom-asking, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, opening portals straight to hell, shopping for clothes and cologne, getting ticketed at the country, PRAWGRESS: shoot bjmnkf-jbreezy, tesia+tesia combo breaker, esongclareinyoungjuhee fob 4 hit house breaker, ck 47, aivy, and for oopeh NOBODY CAUSE YOU GAY FOO; PERRY's HOUSE: HIDING IN THE CLOSET, DEZMUHDED, THAT'S RETARDED, I LIKE CYNTHIA, CYNTHIA APPROVES, YOU'RE GAY, PERRY YOU'RE HORNY, OOPEH OOOHWEH, BI-DWARD, BI-DWEIRD, WEIRD-WEIRD, NIGGUH DONG SHEE; getting caught with a butterfly-sword, being sick or having a doctor's appointment to go eat pho or buffalo wild wings, catching ewar getting buck in brandon's bathroom, lee's review bonfire, isaiah doign things for balls' sakes = best one is crushing cans, skating and relaxing while edward uses a car as a mirror to watch himself get buck, bucking 101 by jesson foo, IF IT AIN'T JEWSH, IT AINT BEWK, equestrian mega champ, and i almost forget: I CAN FEEL THE ARTICHOKE, WEE-FEE? BRI-GAH-DAY (BRIGADE), BUHZIL, prom, bb gun war against wasps at jessons, ping pong at jessons, sleepover at my house where we did NOTHING, chillin at josh's house, helping edward ask alice, wow. and last but not least, the creation of the anthem in the box car. a day that will live forever, and to you all i salute:)

and still, there is SO much more, and all i can think is: soon, we'll never be able to do this every week. soon, i'll have to say good bye to all of this, and say good bye to all the things we took for granted.

thank you for being my brothers this last year.
and some individual memories.
jesson - we down as hell. lee's review warriors. raping you in ping pong, shoot. i forgot the first part but, "IT'S BIGGER THAN YOURS." priceless!!, do you realize half the time we interact we don't say much but we always touch each other in a really homo way? poking me in the armpits hella hard,
brandon - jamming at church = some of the best memories i have. funniest guy i know, i love you from the bottom of my heart, battling with mrs. lee 2v1 and winning cause we champs, this is pre-anthem: having you on my side every scrim<3, socking you before tesia's bday = ko for the night, riding your stupid bikes, going hella back like... MRS STOKES
ewar - jam seshing at your house, freestyling. hells yeah, some personal crap right there. giving you ride morning, prom drama<3. YOU GOT A HAWMIES BACK NIG. pissing you off until you got angry, then pissing you off more, then us acting like nothing happened. i remember when i pushed you hard and wanted to beat you down.
josh - wow. do i really need to? first, every man date possible. like i think i went out with you enough to be your next boyfriend, open-mat, basketball, liberty, convincing you to go to irvine, teaching you how to kickflip-underflip, walking around in underhook position, always touching each other, i think you and edward bring out the reasonable side of me, parking ticket at sac, OH SHOOT. I ALMOST FORGOT. CAR BATTERIES NOOB.
perry - me getting rejected from every damn college, and then you spooning with me to comfort me. yeah i remember that. always letting me come over when i needed somewhere to stay. always touching your damn nasty sweaty hands. being one of the few to witness your soft hands cause i know when to touch, making out with your statue
izayuh - always telling me about how pretty a girl is. long rides home. being the most honest and direct, too loud you embarrass me sometimes. honestly. for you i don't even have to say anymore. you're a brother. we might as well have the same blood.


i wrote everything to remind me that life isn't cruel because there isn't a lack of good things to go around. life is cruel because good things come and go; things we invested so much time and heart into, they come to an end. i can't help but think this is the height of our friendships. now. and the next few months. i loved high school but i didn't really like it that much until junior-senior year. you guys made everything worth it. you guys made me laugh. you guys made me stop being such a stuck up dickface who didn't know how to have fun. man i can write so much. but let's just say, if i had 6 kids, i know exactly what i'd name them.