afflictions eclipsed by glory

how great your affections are for me...
and ohhhh how you love us ohhhhh....

lately, everything is fading more and more as i love God more and more, and as i learn to struggle in my faith, to endure suffering with patience and hope, i begin to think, "if i were to like a girl now, what would happen?"

in the 30 seconds i thought about this, i remember that the model for love is God's love for us, and more specifically, Christ's love for the Church - that undeniably great, awesome, ever so patient, unconditional, wonderful, perfect thing. something i would fail to do over and over. i would love to think Christian relationships would be perfect. but no. i would be a dick sometimes. but as i decrease and He increases, i can see the flesh, weaker, battling the spirit. my prayer is that i will love my brothers and sisters with this type of undying, impenetrable love. and also, that i would love a girl i would go into a relationship with something

i would like to be in a relationship. or at least i would like to like a person (makes things exciting!) but i find greater joy knowing that i can sincerely say that i would rather know God more than to have an opportunity to go out with the girl of my dreams. her beauty will fade; the perfect image of her will fail; she will not live up to my expectations; i will fail her, and at those times, feel down - but God, his beauty will never cease to increase, my image of him will be continually renewed from one degree of glory to another as i realize that he exceeds every expectations to the point of too much, and luckily, this relationship is not about what i can give him, for i would fail him every second of his life, but how i can live with what he has given me, which is everything. i am glad that at least this relationship is dominated by who he is and what he has done.

but still, a nice girl that i like who happens to tickle my fancy doesn't sound bad...not bad at all