2 things

live

1. i need to buy explosions in the sky and owl city cd's. i am so in love with music. i feel like crap, balls tired today, and yet i come home listening to music, and i feel alive. it's like a sweet surrender - knowing that my head will hit the floor, but my face will smile all the way down; for i know the beauty that it strikes within me will be awakened when i awake.

2. i am in love with people. i want them to know all about me and i want to know all about them. i guess not everyone : there isn't enough of me to go around, i would stretch to thin. and when i have nothing to give, then i can't appreciate taking back and in. today while on the drive to school, i was smiling from ear to ear (i have a small mouth actually). i know what i am going to do for my next project. it should be a lot of fun, a lot of silliness, and a lot of revisiting good old memories. i am alive i feel it. and i want to give while i have some of me to give away.

i said i wouldn't write anymore of these posts.only peoems. but i lied. this post is as essential to understanding my peoems as the words of the peoems themselves are. this is my inspiration. people.

i realized the girl of my dreams changes. i could list the best qualities ever. but when i fall deeply in like, i find myself saying: it's not that you are perfect, but that you are perfect for me. i wrote that to someone once. and the more i think about it, the more i get lost in a world, the more i am alive. but it doesn't make those any words less special. maybe i've just seen something in you, and said to myself: if this isn't beauty, then i'll die blind. this post could be referring to the past - which would still make this important to me, because understanding the past i taste more sweetly the present - but this post is also talking about the present. some relationships are focused on depth. those words that only few can offer. some, actions: doing things together. sometimes, in the silence, the words do not matter. the stillness does not matter. (existentialism - laying down, doing nothing is as much as an action of choice as is going out and running around: i read this in josh's textbook) only your presence matters. and when i can feel alive without you saying or hearing a word, just sleeping, just dreaming, then i imagine. i must be deeply in like. but this post is so misleading. i don't want to explain. i can only hope that you will read it with eyes that don't assume, that don't follow the lines of the obvious. and life is more fun this way. so i won't explain at all how i mean.

but you, you make me feel alive. at least right now.