hehaw returning to old hehaw form:)

i was doing hw... and brushing my teeth... dood... it's hard writing an intelligent sentence while brushing teeth.

wwss? what would smarts say?

looking back at wise sayings, on love, bravery, intelligence, and honesty.

Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life. - joseph conrad

Fortune favors the brave. - Virgil

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle

and
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. - Thomas Jefferson.

1. never be afraid to love. it is the hope and beauty of us all. it is risky and it may end in disaster. it is risky and it may end in bliss. either of these is better than the alternate - do nothing, feel nothing, live nothing. come breathe the air, be alive, come back to life, and love. love something. put everything in it. enjoy it. taste it like you've never tasted it.

2. balls.

3. once a friend of mine posted something on facebook about abortion and his arguments against them. i think i took like an hour to respond to each and every one of his claims. i played devil's advocate and it was fun. he responded with deleting my post. i was confused. *i want to stereotype Christian behavior - sometimes, insecurity is too much! Another time, not too long after this incident, my church had bible study on abortion. again, i played devil's advocate. it ended in my pastor literally pissed off (or i think so) and he looked as if i personally offended him for voicing what the a pro-choice staunch advocate would say. i remember being quite disgusted. if Christian doctrines can only survive in a setting where no one brings up a good argument against them - there's a psych word for this, groupthink? or the other one? i don't know - that says something about the people who believe in them.

4. another wise man (not Thomas Jefferson) once said, "if you kissed ass your entire life, you're not living. you're just kissing ass. if all you're friendships consist of kissing ass, that's not friendship. that's kissing ass." honesty is appropriate sometimes and it isn't. i would never tell a 6 year child where he came from. i would not tell my 5 year old kid that santa didn't exist unless he was pissing me off one day and i felt like getting back at him, and instead of spanking him, i'd tell him i'm the damn tooth fairy too. but honesty is a good policy most of the time.


i wish people saw the world as i did. it would be so much funnier. or i wish i saw the world as others do. then at least i wouldn't feel like i'm the only one laughing and enjoying. i have to remind myself everyday, laugh laugh laugh - live live live. back to life was the blog section before i deleted everything. now i remmeber why i deleted everything. for every new poetry section i deleted all my posts. dumb me. first it was back to life. then live, or die. now a breath of fresh air. back to life was a huge section. i miss you :)

years ago, i walked into school wanting nothing more than to see your face.

heart, listen to yourself. after seeing how easily mountains built with your hands break, how do you feel? sir, i feel dumb. maybe i should have never tried at all. heart, this is what they would want you to think ; futility in life because of the endless ceaseless power of death that comes nipping at your heels. sir, then what shall i do. you should live, or die. you have already come back to life, will you go back? wake up and see the world. breath in the fresh air. enjoy life in this very moment. what you have now. things may fade, friendships dearly lost. but the present is forever yours, for it will be the only time you can change. the past is set in stone. the future doesn't exist. the present is our time. live, or die, my friend.

woohooo that was weird. conversations in my head. the meeting of a brain and feelings. i'm thankful i've been writing and reading poetry and reading books. it helps me to tune into how i respond, how i feel, to a certain text. and that works for real life. in tune with my body. i guess i am a sensitive gay boy. i love it. can't wait till i meet someone weird just like me. then we could have fun playing the literature draft game that i've been thinking about ever since i've thought of it. i would draft emily dickinson. her poems are magic. she would be the dark horse poet. unstoppable baby.

homework time. goodnight, heart. see you in the morning. dont dream too hard, or you might never want to wake up again.

and that, it is how i feel everytime i wake up.